Last night at zouk was fun, i have not had this kind of fun for a long time. well clubbing in oxford is diff. becux of the pple well. the guys here stick to themselves and they are kind of ya. so is diff. well but i enjoy it although there is no guys hee. with binny and cand there was fun. we went of prata after that so ya put back on the weight from dancing. hehe..
Met up with saman today, long time never see her and she was like i am so mature and adult like now. well i must admit that i grew reallie much more mature in terms of thinking and dressing well. like i will not leave without makeup onw. and ya. and i find guys under 23 to young. of cux not too old. but i had a friend who is 35 from uk. went out with him once. and he is alright but there is a bit of no topic to talk at times. but in all he is nice but too sometimes too u .... well. ya.
then at last is gym in the evening as usual. hehe..
-cann't stop dreaminx of u-
well everyone around me happily either in love with someone they love. well. as for me. i decided not to think to much abt guys and forget the past in singapore.. i know is now totally over for you becux u stayed in singapre and time had heal you. but for me this time round is like the first time i am in singapore and i reallie feel hard to concentrade. well well. i have been in uk to avoid everything and i hope i can continue doing that. clubbing. playing. smoking to forget everything . it did actually but it does not take that long. it helped me off the mind of few weeks or mths..well st clare's itself is a special place. you hardly feel lonely i wonder if my nx school will be like this. i reallie hope so and i want to get to royal hollway with linn cux she is there and i seriously miss her. well but LSE i need the marks .
Luckily i did not stay in contact with martin if not now i will be like martin here and there well he is definately too old for me and ya. if i did i guess we will still meet in london or he will come down to oxford since he know the area near my school, well is nice knowing an extra frenx but then again if it continue it will cross the line. and i do not want to like someone who is almost twice my age. i think 10 is the max i can actually accept so ya. well well . I want to club but no one is there xinyang wants too but then her mum dun allow her after 12 so ya. i am trying to ask her convince her mum to let her stay out during her bdae. well. =)
What will i be doing i reallie want to go to gym or at least join the gym but then i dunno . maybe i should join the life time member so that everytime i come back i can use the gym and all. =) and also ya. sometime i reallie want to smoke everytime . esp at night . but then again i cannot becux i feel guilty and i promise not to smoke althought i still sometimes do socially but that is not addictive . well why everytime i come back sg i just feel like doing heavy smoking in oxford i don't is singapore so depressing . that i have to do that.
-cann't stop dreaminx of u-
well. is another weekend here in singapore. i should say a reallie boring weekend i had. i have booked a chalet for tmr. but i guess i should be canceling it cux i dun reallie feel like going there tmr. and also i am not in the mood at all. mum came back today to settle steven stuff. and he was reallie stubborn untill even i lost temper at him. well i have my limit,,so yup and he had definately cross the line. i got find a phy and maths teacher soon. i reallie need them badly.. someone help me.
I am thinking of doing a fashion line. well i don't have the talent to do that thou. but of cux i can always hire pple to help me along. so ya. kind of reallie into it but i do need time to make it into success. well =) hopefully this can occupy my time here in singapore since i have so much free time. 2 mths is reallie alot of time. and i also realised i prefer much older guys. under 30s of cux. but at least 23 i dunno. but ya. i feel they are more interesting. hee. well well. forget abt guys for the moment. i want to take up some course on fashion. although i will not be the one doing the design. =)
-cann't stop dreaminx of u-
well today in the shop was reallie boring i had nothing to do at all. only towards the end i serve a few customer but yup. other than that i had nuthing to do. i reallie want to go prawning but then i dun want to be there with samuel lee. i dunno i am realli trying my best get him off my life totally. i guess i would. some how i want the sch to reopen reallie quickly. cux i feel that my life has got no purpose. well.ya. although i have not been to china this trip nor burma. but then again ya. to think og i actually had an intention on something that could have cause me a wrong path.. lucky i stop early hehe. and ya i guess he respected my decision and not bother me anymore. hehehe. well well. that's why i say there is a limit to everything you do.
Like what xy told me i am not a player so. dun play. it will only make me feel worst and think alot. well temu is so funny with her lulu and mehmeh,.. hehehe i was trying to call her back but she is not answering my calls. so yup well i guess i will call her again soon. i reallie dun understand what is happening to me. i went to see a consultant and he said there is nothing much could be done to improve the condition i am so disappointed and all sigh sigh.. well i need to lose weight and yup.i miss esporta. i miss going there to workout well. ya.
-cann't stop dreaminx of u-
Had quite a busy day today. well i showed Martin around singapore. is kind of wierd actually cux i hardly know him. haa. we went to chinatown then to orchard then sentosa. visited quite alot of places today . I don't why i showed him around . when basically he is a stranger to me. maybe i am bored and since he come to singapore and i know singapore pretty well. so ya why not make someone's day.
I am going to put on weight again, cux i ate so much today aagain. ;) well well i am tired . going back home to sleep hee
-cann't stop dreaminx of u-
I just came back from MF well i have not been there for mths . almost 6mths+. I seriously dunno why i am working so hard for what there is no reasons for me to continue . maybe going back to oxfrod is my drive welli have 2 mths+ more to go. Temu and Aga are in london . i miss them so much. hee. i finally got my hse phone and bought a calling card to call temu there. miss updating everything to her abt my life and all but now. i have nuthing to tell her . i dun like anyone or anything. nothing really interest me these day.
I just want some peace here. maybe i will be going to China soon at the end of the mths but going there is going to waste alot of my money because of the way my friends there going to spend money. although the accomodation is free . free meals too. They will be coming to singapore too but of cux i cannot afford to pay for everything they eat but i will try my best. they are reallie a bunch of sweet and worthy friends.
I got to go california to see what offers they have first . I reallie need to spend some cash then i will feel bad and use the gym more often. my wu jiu is here . wee. nv see him for so lond. i hate whoever in the shop now.. all they talked abt is gambling .. damm irritating.
-cann't stop dreaminx of u-
Almost 5 days had passed in singapore and i have not reallie met up with anyone except for xy,cand and yar,. well the rest are so busy with everything. i guess i will visit michie one day . =) this time round things are so diff. i aren't interested in anything even clubbing or knowing anyone. i kind of concluded i am diff now. i guess everyone changes. well as for me and sam he asked my bro if we want to go prawn fishing but then i am seriously angry with him and i hope he can sense it by now.
For MR 2 hr , i just talked to him and look at his pic but then realised that he was just an inflatuation. well well hope it all end by now and i actually did my econ extened essay. haaha. i woke up everymorning at 6 am doing nothing. i guess i will run later i am so afraid of putting on weight here. i guess i put one a bit in the last 1 week gonna join califonia and i got an appointment on thur morning so excited hehehe.. oh i am now helping out in lucky plaza basement , my uncle/god pa 's jewellery store hee.. is kind of asked!! but then again is ok since i have nuthing much to do these days and earn abit more money to shop. oh and yestrday i dropped my wallet at starbuck. realised after an hour but they were so honest they kept it for me not like the coffee club in wisma!! thank you. i really appreciate. i tips them of cux happily this time. hehe.
-cann't stop dreaminx of u-
Forget abt last post. is just venting my anger. I am in singapore right now but surprisingly i reallie miss being in oxford. i dunno not that much but the feeling is weird.i guess is becux i learn to apreciate the place and the pple around me. i dunno why but i ket thinking of Mr 2hr guy . i guess he nv knows n he is probably still playing around in oxford. but then again i dun have the right to say anything. just hope that he will talk to me more after his exams. there is something in him tt attract me.. the way he look, his winks. his smile. his mu.. well well is just a fantasy . I hope i reallie get over him i know i well. just 1 more week n. yup.. actually i know him for less than a week. . i have not met up with much pple actually onli cand n xy.. since this time round i have lots of time in sg. i can take my own sweet time. heee. gtg home. =)
well well i think i have done enough for you and yup.. since we are not together anymore i think i rellie should moved on. althoug i have moved on in term of the realtion but i reallie cannot moved on you being part of my life used to.. is like is just the habit seeing something that i like i would buy for my brothers and i will aso buy for you. but then again you do not appreciate all this and say that i shout and you and all.
When you wanted the V3X i bought it in uk for you , why am i so nice to you i should have not done eerything. and think abt how many things you do for me from dec to now. this is not the first time. all my frenx are willing to come out with me and only you got to play soccer got to play computer all these rubbish. i should have just totally .. ya.. wish my time and effort.. well at least now i know the reallie you. selfish and only think of yrself . and liars.
I guess this reallie thought me something. i guess i dun want to get anymore serious anymore. at least not for the nx few yrs. is too much for me to take.. losing someone is like losing a kin i rather someone i dun know that much anymore and be happy and end it well. is not as if i am getting married and divorce . well welll. forget it you are a lesson for me. i am super disappointed with the changes in you. i hope you change yr number and nv tell me the new number ever again. i rather lose you completedly then still being a frens. bye. i dun think you knew i am serious.
-cann't stop dreaminx of u-
well well. i have funny feeling of excitment and fear inside me. is like i have been lookign forward for this day to come for mths and finally, it almost unbelievable . To think of it was almost spoiled by one unknown person i ramdomly met. Ok! i am also kind of relieved by the fact that one of my sch mate confirm his identity and i am glad he did not lie . i met a stranger who i think he was sweet . I was kind of stupid to actually think it will continue for a few days. rather than just few hrs but then ya. but at least i got to thankx him for such a nice memories but then again it was like in fairy tale so yup. well well i dun wish such thing to happen but i am happen that i got someone's msn today hehehe at least i can contact him over the summer well. sweet.
I want to be back. and in any case if ray u read this, i am still wondering how you look like =P hehehe. maybe u should come up and say hi next time u see me around in town hehehe. well well. i got to pack my room.
-cann't stop dreaminx of u-
IB1
good bye IB1 and i hope this summer is a good start for me. I wish i could sort things out with my bro and my family and everything. The start of st clare's life was anticipated and excited. I rem the first time walking around the school campus, it was filled with fear and excitment. Looking around the school filled with unfamilar faces, the atmosphere was totally diff from IJ. IJ was full of laughter and love. Being an IJ girl for 4 yrs had thought me alot. Pple used to say once an ij girl u will feel attached to the place forever. IJ is a special place for all f us, like now i can tell my ij frenx everything and i know no matter what probs i encounter they are always there for me, being in st clares i learned more abt human's character. Iguess is because everyone is from a diff background and diff culture. I met so many diff pple with diff characters.some bad and some good. but no matter what the frenx here is diff from the feelings i shared with my IJ frenx.
The classes in st clares is a diff case. I used to slept through all my classes in IJesp maths , ni had no idea what was going on in my Add maths class untill secondary 4 when Mr Tan became my maths teacher. I must say he helped me really alot and alot. Classees here i dun sleep a wink.firstly there is normally less than 10 pple in class. ok is everytime less than 10. and it is so obivous that some1 is sleeping and. I pay so much for the fees why should i have extra tuitions ,so yup. I started out being a hardworking and quiet girl who finish all the hw. but this did not last verylong. I got lazier and lazier and at least not that unapproachable anymmore. Although remarks from pple is that i still don't seems to care anything that is happening around me and I don't talk to much guys. This year 05/06 is probably the yr which had darastically changed my life.
I learn how to survive alone in a foriegn land , I used to think this was like a dream but when it really happen there is nothing much. I used to always wished i cld take a break from my life in sg. the reponsibilities of being the eldest. the nv ending relationship that was moving no where. everything was like a 360 degree change. Now i dunn have to worry about anything. I make my own decision, and i reallie hope i can finish my uni soon. I dun like to live under the tumb of someone. being told what to do 24/7. I care more on appearence and ... so on i don't wish to comment on that anymore. some bad changes i had adopted. like brand cautious and friend circle is diff is becux of st clares i assume well. so on and so on
my hse mate are going to have a farewell part tmr. before i leave is like the last night we had together in hse 13.
-cann't stop dreaminx of u-
Well i did something diff last night. i have got no idea why. but is just the feeling i know the rule of the game but then i think i cross the line/. pple warn me for the "danger" but i just cann't seems to care. He gave me a diff feeling i guess is becux i knew nuthing abt him and there is no commitment , it is as thou i had a dream. becux i went to the wash room and was still wondering if he was real. it is a good thing that it happen now cux. i will be going back to sg on tue .
well. i guess there is nothing i can do , i am reallie excited over the coming back to singapore that i did not do anything these days at least i have already pack my stuff and all. I know i got to get over sam soon . although we have broke up for more than 6 mths. but infact it seems like yr becux we have been serparated for a yr now. I got to accept the reality and move on by not daoing pple. and i got to lose weight becux. i am going back to sg. i reallie cannot wait to see everyone.
-cann't stop dreaminx of u-
last night was alright but not that great becux oxford was just simple empty. i was in london for the weekend. friday . was the best shopping trip i had this term. i guess as i grow older now i prefer to shop alone alot. i dun like to do that in singapore , i have got no idea why but . maybe cux in sg noone actualy shop alone and here u see many pple shopping alone. friday i started from 5 to 9. becux i was waiting for sab.jo.s.yang they all to come down. they finally reached at 10. it was fun, untill after 9 when the shops starrt to close. my intention was to find a dress but in the end i bought only a top from urban outfitter.
I realised there are so many things that i would love to buy but then again , i spend all my 500 GDP last mths and so i have not much left for this mth. there goes my dior bag again. haix. i wonder when i can actually start to save the $$ hee. i bought one foli foli watch on sat i must say is reallie cheap for the brand. but ya since i bouught it there is nothing i can do . i could have live without it . sat shopping was tiring becux we spend hours in shops. becux we have friker minded pple among us . hehe.. at mac we spend almost 2 hrs trying out the make up and touching up. it was fun . reeallie fun cux slefridge mac they dun reallie care and let to try everything. and they have everything on display and the area is 3 times bigger than the mac in sg. judy. was helping to with lip, it was susposed to make my lip looks sexier but ya. she did a great job but i still dun think it look very sexy hee. went down to bond street where all the branded shops. are i was so tempted to get something so ya .. could not help buying the watch. heart pain after that. but i love it is white and similar to the tag hetcher white one but the price is so much diff. i cannot affort another tag . too ex.
we took the 11 pm coach to oxford to club. only me and jo actually. as usual i attract unwanted pple. why??? cann't the chinese, jap, korean or oriental be attracted to me not those pple. sigh is it with my looks or what. jo said it is. but ya. aafter the club closed we had no where to go cux we cannot sneak back fearing that we will get caiught so we sat one the sit in town at after 3.30 the pple who were left there were actually man and kind of scary , when drunken english man approach u so we run down the street to find cab. lucky wei and ding sneaked out too and waited for us. so ya not that bad. but at least we reached home safely , uncaught by the warden. i am never going to walk down the street at 4 am without guys or lesser than group of min 8. is 5 am now and i cannot sleep . guess is the exams results that is making me nervous.
-cann't stop dreaminx of u-
What I Adore________
Food:Chocolates, chicken rice, chaokuaytiao, chilli crab
Drinks:H2O
Pastimes:staying in the room/ peace with myself
People:JIT, HS, SD n SA,
What I Hate_________
People: those who take advantage of my kindness.
Things:
Food:i love food too much
Music's Playing_______
Artist:
Song:
//visit Iwebmusic for music codes, codes are to be placed at the end of this template
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